Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
Randomize
