In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
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