I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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