I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
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