you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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