I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
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