Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
I lost the right to judge tonight
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
