that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
