aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
