I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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