We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
