and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Randomize