Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Randomize
