I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
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