Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
I want to be your penis for a week.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
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