Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Randomize
