Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Randomize
