i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
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