Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
I need to sanitize my soul.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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