Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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