Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
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