i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Randomize
