I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
