White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
