I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
