how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Randomize
