I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Randomize
