They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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