Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
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