You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Randomize
