you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
