I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
Randomize
