ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
