I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
