She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Randomize
