i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
This toilet bowl is my home.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
