i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
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