shes about as inviting as chlamydia
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
Randomize
