I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Randomize
