heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
