Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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