to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
pop tarts are not kleenex
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
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