I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
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