I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
Randomize
