Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
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