dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
