Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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