you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
He is an equal opportunity slut.
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Randomize