Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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