3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
I'm sobbing to NWA
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
