Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
Randomize