she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
I didn't notice because vodka
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
