Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
