yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
