i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Randomize
