at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
