its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Randomize
