Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
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