He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Randomize
