Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
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