farters have to be the big spoon...
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
our cab driver is having phone sex.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
